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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Christmas and New Years... No Not and No More well Kinda

Christmas is fast approaching with New Years quickly to follow. It is the time of year that is synonymous with joy, family and holiday festivities. It is also a time of year fraught with sadness, loneliness and reflection.  For those of you who do not know in addition to being a writer I am a LifeStylist which is a ‘oh so now’ title for someone who resembles a Life Coach but of course we are so much more.  I stepped away from this capacity of my life when I became engaged a few years ago.

He is gone (thank the stars and heavens) and I have resumed this segment of my life.  This being the case as the New Year and 2011 is around the corner my phone is beginning to ring more and more with tones of sadness, desperation and sometimes just stubborn resolve.  No matter the emotion the theme appears to be the same.  No, Not and no more! 

No I am not going to take being the person who is not valued, not appreciated, not respected, and no more will I be the one whose love is not returned.

Single through the holidays can bring on a bevy of emotions some good and some not so good.  The important things to remember are to spend your time in the midst of joy, happiness and positivity. If that is with friends, family or both enjoy each moment, as tomorrow is not promised.

If you are a person of faith of any religion take this time to renew your spirit and soul with time spent reading, rejoicing and give thanks to whichever God you personally worship.

Lastly and just as important no matter your circumstances, good, bad or indifferent you are Alive. Give thanks and party in a phrase made popular by Prince Roger Nelson the ‘Artist’ better known as simply ‘PRINCE’ and ’Party Like It Is 1999.’ 

The Real Deal Is Yes MEN and WOMEN Cheat

Daily I receive questions about fidelity and faithfulness.  The bottom line is it takes TWO to TANGO and plenty of folks are tangoing (yes I know that is not a word) outside of their two step marriage, live-in domestic or allegedly monogamous relationship.  Yes I know from personal experience and if I cannot tell you who can.

The question I hear daily is. "how do I know?" If you have to ask than you are already in the danger zone.  Now I must give a header to that statement with "If you are paranoid, insecure, lack  self-esteem, you hear ghost and goblins and see skinny men in red hats everywhere you go than this statement does not pertain to you.

You my dear boy or girl have enough 'issues' and the only person you need to be in an inter-personal relationship with is your therapist.

Now for the rest of the 3% of the population.  If you have a less than good vibration (no not the Beach Boys song) each time your guy or girl receives a phone call on their mobile and they leave the room.  Do you really need to ask?

Now tell me your number one sign that lets you know someone is CHEATING!


Monday, December 13, 2010


How Do You Value Yourself?
Are you Priceless?

Recently I was having a conversation with a person from my past that is still a friend.  This is code for ex-boyfriend and yes some of us can remain friends.  (No not that one LOL)

He was telling me about Sotheby’s selling a rare Pink Diamond for $35 million Euros. The pink diamond is 24.78 carats encased by white diamonds and set in platinum.  This is now the most expensive diamond to ever be sold.

Now I have no need for a near 25-carat ring but of course I would take it if offered however I could really use $35 million Euros.  In talking he said in his very pronounced southern dialect as he is from Somerset Kentucky. “That diamond has gotta be nice but you are better because you are Priceless.”

I had to pause for a moment because in this world of hurry up and wait we live in we sometimes forget to stop and say Thanks

So today as you read this say to yourself “I am Priceless,” and then Thank yourself.
I think you are PRICELESS! However it is necessary that you know and acknowledge your own true worth....Priceless

It does not matter if  you are single or married if you have to wait for someone to acknowledge your true worth you will  be waiting for the second coming of  Christ.

MsSurvivor100 says don’t forget:  "Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option"

Friday, December 10, 2010


December 10, 2010

A reality of dating in the times of which we now live is that nearly everyone above the age of 13 has dating baggage. I know scary right? It feels funny just to write an age so young but you only have to look around to see that a major percentage of kids today hormones are running in overdrive and they are far ahead unfortunately of their time on issues of sex, drugs, suicide, bullying and self-esteem.  It seems like yesterday but it was not when all of media outlets from television to newspapers were reporting the story (thanks to past President Bill Clinton escapades with Monica Lewinsky) of the alarming number of teens girls giving oral to boys because they did not perceive it to be an act of sex.

Now with all of this knowledge running through the pubescent brains of teen children how are SINGLE PARENTS supposed to date?

This is the question of the ages, how do Single Parents date?  Not just date but date successfully? It is not rocket science actually that would be easier than being a parent of a child of any age and attempting to date.  Oh wait there is one classification more precarious and that is the person dating the parent of the child.

Given the statistics that there are 89 million of age single Americans couple this number with the knowledge of nearly 51% of all head of households are single and you can see where this is headed.  On a road full of warning signs such as yield proceed with caution or stop cliff to hell straight ahead.  In 2009 there were approximately 13.7 million single parents and those parents are responsible for raising 21.8 million kids who think they are grown and know more than you with 26% under the age of 21. This is much more than a prevailing issue for stability in our lives and the future of our country.

I have only one appropriate answer to the question, ‘How are SINGLE PARENTS supposed to date? There is no one answer to this question other than Pray Just Pray!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Yes Time Is Ticking ...away So Stop Tripping If You Don't Have a Date for The Holiday Christmas Party Be Thankful

Be thankful that you have ONE a job and TWO that your place of employment continues to have a holiday party.  Long gone are the days of Christmas Office Parties and forget the BIG BONUS be happy that you did not receive a yellow slip instead.

Be thankful that you did not ask a guy or girl  to be your date at the last minute in an attempt not to look dateless and desperate because that is exactly how you look when asking someone you don't know.

Be thankful because chances are high that this person will make you appear to be a L-O-S-E-R with a capital L.  If the L fits across your forehead than embrace it and ask away.

When you ask a person who you do not know to attend an event of significance where in attendance is family, close friends, co-workers and particularly bosses and possibly business owners you run the risk of your date doing more harm than good.  How?

Very simple you have no IDEA of the character, behavior, and drinking or eating habits of this last minute date.

Best case scenario *** he or she is appropriately dressed, smiles and says hello in a polite manner, knows the proper eating utensils has one or two drinks, can hold a conversation, knows how to sidestep  unwanted advances from your inebriated co-workers. If this is the situation you escape none the worse from harm.

Worst case scenario *** he or she  dresses as if they are going to the state fair, is rude and belligerent to all who speak to them including you, holds the fork like a shovel, drinks like a fish, does not know Sarah Palin from Sarah Jessica Parker, makes out with  your co-worker in the bathroom and leaves with the husband or wife of your boss.  Do I really have to say more?!/MSSURVIVOR100 Says:"
                                                                            "Be thankful that don't have a last minute date or you could be sealing your fate and looking for a new job come the NEW YEAR!"

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


The Holiday season is in full swing and for many living in Singledom instead of Holiday Cheer and Seasons Greeting this time of years can bring about Depression and Desperation. The hustle and bustle of the season becomes a constant reminder that you are
S-I-N-G-L-E as if it is a disease.

 These are the times that you need to be in the midst of friends and family. If you are able have a party before Christmas. This is also the perfect time and atmosphere to invite a person of interest for a drink or to your party, in a casual manner that does not reek of 'Desperately Seeking.' To help keep cost down and have either a luncheon event or a cocktail party which allows you to limit the time to 2 to 3 hours.
Holiday Entertaining made easy.

Your theme is easy wether you celebrate Hanukah, Kwanza or a traditional Christmas decorate your common areas bathroom, kitchen, dining and living area with simple and expressive decor items. No need to spend a fortune you can find all you need at stores such as Dollar store, 99 cent, Big Lots.

 Once you have those items to keep cost down choose a drink and food theme. If you have alcoholic beverages choose a drink that the recipe can also work as a non alcoholic drink. Choose a menu of one or two meet dishes, that can be prepared either ahead of time, in a crock pot or easily put in the oven during the party.

The one constant should be mistletoe hanging over your door.

For quick and easy recipes check popular websites such as of drop by your local bookstore browse through the magazine and books from top party planners such as Martha Stewart, or my personal favorite Colin Cowie.

The Only Rules to entertaining during the Holiday if you are single

RULE ONE...Do Not invite your ex wives/husbands boyfriends or girlfriends unless they have a date of their own, and you have shared with any person you have an interest in that they will be attending the party.

RULE TWO...Please insure that if you are single and have married friends that you attempt to invite an equal number of male and female single friends proportionate to each status that being married and single.

RULE THREE...That you do not run out of food and if you have cocktails on the menu drinks either and if you care about your friends remember "friends don't let their friends drive drunk."

Age of Aquarius No More! Now Is The Age of Online Dating

Internet dating is here and it ain't going nowhere! That being said you can either join the club literally or be dateless Monday through Sunday. The days of scrutiny are not quite all gone to the thought that you can find true love on and through a computer with a complete stranger.  But if you want to meet someone new this is the most popular if not safest path and it is here to stay.  However you slice it, dice it or chop it this is the age we now live it. It may not be the Age of Aquarius but it is the age of Online Dating and there is a new twist Virtual Online Dating.  Everyone has their own opinion and well you know what they say about opinions. 

In the last 3 years I have signed up with 4 major online dating services for 30 days each and I have interview more than 300 individuals. Each person’s perspective is different in some ways but mostly the same in that it being their view is colored by their own ideal of SUCCESS.  In short if they found lasting true love or friendship determines their rating of each experience.  Yet I must say there are no true obsoletes other than safety should be the first and foremost concern.

***AFRO-ROMANCE  whose tag line is Where love is more than skin deep ... this review will be special to say the least.
*** of course unless you live with your head buried in the sand this site is known by all.

*** where the classy and affluent meet oh yeah that was a farce!

*** is that they find your SOUL MATE.  My experience on this site almost had me scared single.

During the last three years I have chatted with as well as Coached individuals from the day they decided to enter the arena of Online Dating to the very day of the happy Nuptials.  Yes, there are those who marry.  I know I was their LifeStylist Relationship Coach. Now will they have Happily Ever After you know that only time will tell!  But I am betting some will and some won’t. No I am not being a pessimist is the simple the law of averages.

Now I can share one quick success story thus far.  Sunday December 5th, 2010 at The Hideaway in Cavecreek Arizona a popular Biker Bar  I randomly met a delightful and exuberant couple who shared with me they met on 
They appeared to me and they are happy to share with anyone who inquired that they were Happy and In Love.  Did I mention they are getting hitched in the coming spring 2011. Yep they are what would be labeled a success story.  More on them later and if you have questions on how to get from here to there married that is, e-mail me sk@scaredsingle and let us see if we can work that magic on you!


Ms Survivor100 "living happy, healthy and well is your best revenge to the haters from your past."

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Slain Publicist Ronnie Chasen Single and Successful but...SINGLE

Is being successful and single the crime. You would think with all of the emphasis on the fact that Ms. Ronnie Chasen noted Hollywood publicist died as a single and successful woman the media has lost track of the true tragedy.

It has been just over two weeks since the tragic death in Beverly Hills of slain celebrity Publicist  Ronnie Chasen. Yesterday while watching HLN's Nancy Grace Show which theme is based on heinous crimes I was insulted by a comment made by anchor Mrs. Jane Valez-Mitchell. Grace was recovering from surgery and Velez-Mitchell was filling in as a guest anchor. There was a discussion and phone call segment surrounding the circumstances of Ms. Chasen tragic homicide.

Many of the calls were as you can imagine about the details and who, what, where and whys of her death. In the midst of the calls a caller asked if she was married or had children. The anchor was suddenly baffled you could hear the doubt and hesitancy in her voice there was also a slight turn of her head. I would venture a guess that this must have been an unconscious move as she listened to the producer in her ear. Suddenly she blurted out, “ she was married a long time ago and has no children but she has a brother and two nieces.”

Yes she was married many years ago but more importantly one or more homicidal maniac(s) killed her.

Now I know that the tragedy is in the fact that we live in a society where this act of murder is nearly a commonplace occurrence. The interest by the caller is one of curiosity and maybe some concern about the life of Ms. Chasen. We must also admit we as a society or just plain nosey. Yet I think about how we label classify and put value on lives by categorizing everything. Married, single, divorced who cares would the senseless crime of murder be any less senseless if she had a husband and children?

Is this how we now classify a persons life “married a long time ago.” Does that not mean that Ms. Chasen is divorced with a status of a divorcee and please can you tell me what constitutes a long time ago. Now I did not know Ms.Chasen however I am a publicist and for a publicist who was referred to as,” the doyenne of Hollywood publicist”, by the Los Angeles Times I am positive she would find that reference and error and an insult. I know I did.

Single is a status not a disease.

"You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose."
- Jo Courdert

"The relationship you have with yourself is the true, "until death do us part." The us is in the we of me.

"A lessoned learned through the hard knocks of heartbreak sometimes the best you can do is not enough to mend a bridge of broken promises." 
MsSurvivor100!/MSSURVIVOR100  follow me on Twitter

With all of this it is okay to be scared single but do not be Afraid. Fear  is a crippling emotion.
Call or e-mail and I will assist you live your purposed filled life.

Need To Know Facts

Number One need to know fact about this thing we refer to as relationships, marriage, dating and all of the above is 'Everyone is Not Going to Get Married." This very true and accurate fact is the Elephant in the room that no-one and I mean not a single soul wants to talk about. Except me of course.

Now don't get it twisted I am not hating is simply is what it is. This fact has nothing to do with how beautiful/handsome, nice, caring, intelligent, rich poor or in between the individual may be. It is a matter of numbers and the law of averages.

In 2009 World Bank reported there are 6,755,235,741 folks in the world. Now I am not sure if they counted each of us individually but I am sure they are darn close. Now the question I am asked most often while coaching or doing seminars is what is the break down for the amount of male to female. According to the United Nations there are 200 million fewer women in the world than there should be, based on demographic data. This data shows that for every 103 boys born there are 100 girls.

So fellas the next time you wonder where are all the 'Girls At' think about the numbers.