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Monday, May 30, 2011

Memorial Day May 30, 2011 A Day of Remembrance

America Where would I start and how could I adequately give thanks to the men and women who serve our country in the armed forces of these United States of America. Today of all days Memorial Day May 30, 2011 it is imported to remember the definition of the word UNITED and AMERICA.  United is defined as joined together politically, for a common purpose, or by common feelings.  Simple yes or so you would think.  But it appears with the rampant dissension, backbiting and bi-partisan rhetoric it is NOT SO SIMPLE.

AMERICA is defined as: a landmass in the western hemisphere that consists of the continents of North and South America joined by the Isthmus of Panama. The continent was originally inhabited by American Indians and Inuits. The northeast coastline of North America was visited by Norse seamen in the 8th or 9th century, but for the modern world the continent was first reached by Christopher Columbus in 1492  NOT SO SIMPLE  That being the case I would rather utilize the following definition  AMERICA: used as a name for the UNITED STATES.

Two words and a thought that shout to us today of all days in these UNITED STATES is we should all close our mouths concerning our differences, politically, socially and economically and GIVE THANKS to the men and women who served (still serve) and whose lives were lost to hold true to the call of GOD, COUNTRY and HONOR.

This poem has a special place in my heart as I have visited  Beljie (Belgium) the land of Flanders and I have seen and wept over the marked and unmarked graves of the brave men and women who not only fought to preserve our rights but died. The poppies are brilliant in both color and strength and I am honored to have walked the same grounds of those heros.

War 1914-1918
 by John McCrae, May 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.


If someone ask you what is the meaning behind Memorial Day please tell them to read and listen the poem and the music and it will tell the tale of this dayMay 30, 2011 set aside to honor the dead who gave their lives so we can live free. The exact origin of Memorial Day is up for debate but the official date of proclamation is May 5th 1868 by General John Logan and the first date of observation was May 30th 1868.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Am I In The Wrong Relationship?

Am I in the wrong relationship ( You Think) or just scared of being alone?

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We have been generally happy together and suit each other well (are told so by everyone around us). Even though I was the one to make all the first moves and then later asked him to move in with me, I go though periods where I feel that something is missing. I have cheated on him numerous times, some of which he knows about. I don't know if I do these things out of insecurity or selfishness, or if we're just not right for each other. I can't think of what is wrong with our relationship, which makes me think that it is just me and that I need to clean up my act. I don't always feel empty and trapped, but when I do it is quite intense and I feel a need to act on it (be with someone else or ask for an open relationship). I haven't been single for 5 years, (have been in other relationship) and don't know what it's like to be alone.. I feel so confused and unable to judge the situation. I long for the freedom of being single but am scared as well, and don't want to ruin what could be a great relationship. So basically, is the problem with Me or Him???
- Asked by An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Melbourne, Student
Answered by ME....BELIEVER
Okay I know I am Yank from the US but as I have traveled extensively 30 plus countries and counting all but one continent and there are a few issues that find to be certain.  That when it comes to the issues of love lost and won, fidelity -vs- infidelity, passion, pain, joy and confusiont these emotions know no geographic boundary lines.  When it comes to the heart,love, lust and all other emotions the scenario and the outcome are all just about the same.  You know the answer and whether it is fear, lack of active brain cells, low self-esteem or just plain laziness. Does it really matter where the blames is placed (although numerous affairs does lend itself to culpability) you are in a no win relationship and if you loved this man you would allow him to be in a loving, honest, nurturing faithful girlfriend with morals
Perhaps the next time up to plate you might try practicing with a purpose, self-love, restraint, A Belief that you were born with a purpose.  That purpose does not focus on sexual acts before marriage. You are correct you do need to clean up your act. There is a way not to feel empty and trapped. You might try Jesus along with self-restarint.  
Look you are 22 years old a whole lifetime ahead of you concentrate of living life well.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Memorial Day Singles/Solo Travel Specials 2011

Travel Deals Memorial Day Get-Aways

It is often stated that Holidays are the most difflcult time for Singles. I will not argue the point although I do insert the thought this theory has validity but it really depends on the circumstances and the Holiday and its meaning.

Memorial Day is a day of remembrance for those men and women that have died in our nation’s service. Originally called Decoration Day it has evolved for many to be a time of fun and frolic, a paid holiday from work, a time to grill with family and friends, or a three-day travel holiday.
Not quite the same possible mental anguish of living a single life during traditional family holidays such as Easter,Thanksgiving and Christmas but a significant holiday for each American.

As Memorial Day approaches If you are a person who is in a phase of Singledom with no significant partner in your life will you be affected?  Only you really know. Chances are that if you have a balanced life that includes a good circle of friends and family the answer is no.  Yes, you may have a hankering for a loving partner but the doldrums do not attach themselves to your psyche. 

On the flip side if the scenario is as it has been for many others as it has been for me in the past you are in a city far from your true circle of friends and family and have no real connection or mutual interest, trust or familiarity than yes any Holidays can be a arduous time for you.

These are just two possible scenarios but in either situation I suggest that while there is no substitute for love and support I can offer you a feel good albeit temporary alternative. 
Southwest Airline advertises their cheap airfares as a NEED TO GET-AWAY slogan. Well you may need to get-away or maybe you just want to get-away and I want that for you and I found a few Single Solo friendly travel budget friendly deals just for you.

American Airlines flights as low as $36 each way - American Airlines has a Memorial Day airfare going on now through Friday, May 27.  Book your flight by Friday night, fly on Saturday, May 28 and return the follow Monday or Tuesday.  Tickets range from $36 to $158 each way.  Get more information at American Airlines.

Continental Airlines flights as low as $119 RT - Find round trip flights for Memorial Day weekend on Continental Airlines for as low as $119.  While routes and fares are limited, you can find cheap flights for Memorial Day to places such as Montreal, Houston, or Newark/New York.  Purchase your flight by Friday, fly on Saturday (May 28), and return Monday (May 30) or Tuesday (May 31

Save $15 on Memorial Day hotel stays with CheapOStay - You can save up to 50% off hotels for Memorial Day weekend and get $15 off when you book by May 30.  Use coupon code MEMORIAL15 and book at

Memorial Day travel deals on Expedia – Find huge discounts on hotels with the Expedia Memorial Day sale to a number of destinations like Las Vegas, Orlando, Montreal, and more.  The best deal is $18 a night in Montreal!  Check out the Memorial Day travel sale on

Southwest Airlines offers cheap flights for summer and Fall Travel
 - Southwest Airlines kicks off 3 days of deals for travel through November 15.  Find flights for as low as $39 each way for flights all over the country.  Purchase your flight by May 26 with a 14 day advanced purchase required.  Black out dates apply and travel is valid every day but Fridays and Sundays.  Get more information and airfares at Southwest Airlines 3 Days of Deals.
Save up to $100 on The Venetian or The Palazzo Packages in Las Vegas and get a free gift card - Get $20 off per night up to 5 nights at The Venetian or The Palazzo in Las Vegas with a vacation from Southwest vacations.  Book from now through June 2 with a 7 day advanced purchase with travel valid from June 17 through September 30.  Use promotion code LASSUM11 and get a free $25 gift card for free.  Get all the information and rules for this vacation at Southwest Vacations.
Save $100 per reservation with Funjet Vacations - For a limited time, save an additional $50 off each reservation up to $100 for participating hotels in cities like Las Vegas, Orlando, Miami, New York, San Diego, San Francisco, Disney, and more!  Book by June 9 and use promotion code ULTRAUS1 to get the discount with options for free night stays and kids stay free packages.  Book now at Funjet Vacations.
Travel deals to National Parks
Alaska Airlines is featuring specials to many of the US National Parks this weekend.  Check out these deals and see how our national parks system started.
Yellowstone - For $199 per person, stay at you get lodging in the Huntley Lodge, golf, a zip line tour, and a scenic lift ride.  Check out Big Sky resort and use promo code ALAS.
Denali - Stay in McKinley Village Lodge in Denali National Park and get a mid-afternoon raft trip down the Nenana river for free.  Prices start at $299 per night and and one raft trip must be purchased to get the 2nd one free.  This offer is valid May 25 – September 13.  Find out more at the Denali Park Resorts.
Glacier - Fly to Great Fall on Alaska Airlines and receive 15% off a half day of fly fishing on the Missouri river.  Receive 20% off a daily car rental rate in Great Falls.  Get 20% off a nightly rate at the Hampton Inn in Great Falls.  There are a number of deals going on but you must travel by June 30 with travel valid Tuesday – Thursday and Saturday.  Get more information and discounts at Great Falls airport and more Glacier National Park deals (Please note that each deal requires booking through a link to another site and some deals may have expired).
Yosemite - Get 3,000 bonus miles on Alaska Airlines and $159 per night at The Westin Monache Resort in Mammoth Lakes.  Enjoy one night accommodations, one 50 minute spa treatment, and a 7 day Yosemite Park Pass at Tenaya Lodge Yosemite.  Rates start at $255 for Spring and $375 for Summer with promo code ALAKSA.  Find even more great deals on Yosemite with Alaska Airlines.


Friday, May 20, 2011

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver No More

For days now my phone has been ringing about Arnold's Schwarzenegger's affair with mistress Mildred Baena and the 13 year old son that he sired.  While I have been surprisingly quiet on the debacle I am not surprised and if you are you must not be living in the year 2011.  What about this sordid series of intentional events surprises you.  It has been known throughout the Hollywood and Political industry that Arnold is nothing if not a flirt and without casting stones that he has a history of bad behavior and stepping way past the lines of boundaries of acceptable sexual behavior with women before and after his marriage.

With this as my focus instead of focusing on the obvious I would ask us all to look inward and ask are you really surprised and why do we expect him to live to a standard of living that many of us or those that we know do not.  Is it because Arnold is famous, a politician, rich or a immigrant?  Is it because Maria Shriver is a Kennedy and  has a family history of men dating back to her grandfather Jack Kennedy and of course her famous uncles President John Kennedy and Attorney General Bobby Kennedy of philandering, boozing and did I forget  Ted Kennedy and Chappaquiddick.  Or maybe it is that Kennedy curse that historians like to refer to as a reason that tragedy seems to follow the family like a black cloud.

I know not the reasons however I do know this Maria Shriver and her four children while not immune to life's ups and downs not one woman, man or child should have to live through this sordid mess of humiliation.  She has referred to as a transition.


 I prefer to think that just as Maria a proud mother of four has stated this is a trial and while her life will never be the same she will be that mother, friend, woman of strength she was raised to be not only for herself but for her children.  That is her focus to insure that her children survive and thrive through this horrible act of betrayal committed by both their father and a Mildred Baena who was a trusted employee and constant presence in all of their lives.

I constantly share that this site Scared Single is not just for single men and women.  That while I discuss issues of single parenting, dating single,  dating after divorce, traveling solo and more. Scared Single as a forum is also about living as a married couple and how many married men and women are scared of being single.  At what point do you stayed married because it is maybe easier than being single, emotionally, mentally or financially.  I cannot answer that question. I say often that Single is a Status not a Disease. I would personally rather live happy single than miserable married.

I personally know Maria's  particular pain of betrayal and while it has been 18 mos my wound is healing over and I work on forgiveness daily and believe me it is a work in progress daily. I have been reticent about jumping on the bandwagon of skewering Arnold and it has been difficult as he walks around with a phallic symbol of a cigar constantly dangling from his mouth.  OK is not California a non smoking State.  Should he have a modicum of concern the image he puts forth.  Oh no I guess not this is the same man sorry person who not only had illicit sex with a trusted person from the families inner-circle he lived this lie of all lies for 14 years or more.  Please do not get me started on Mildred Baena.

Bottom line is there is no bottom line as the RIPPLE EFFECTS will be long lasting and carry over for generations.  This is what men and women should think about before they become a starring cast member on the Jerrry Springer Show.
                                    The Video for Ripple Effect

Maria has hired renowned divorce attorney Laura Wasser who has an A-list of clients ranging from Angelina Jolie, Ryan Reynolds and Britney Spears according to the New York Post.  My question is will Maria Shrive seek a divorce or an annulment which is a theme amongst the Kennedy clan.

In the end we know that there will be no end as I am near positive that their will be more slithering female snakes to expose themselves there is never just one.

Below is the actual snake I found in my driveway the day I began packing to move from the home I shared with my philanderer that I loved ... God will always send you signs. It is our job to heed them

'Seek him first and Trust the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.'


Only then will you begin to find your peace to get up everyday and live your life.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


It is often quoted in all facets of the media and life that love after 40 is difficult and marriage is almost obsolete...or so they say. I absolutely abhor how others who do not live your life, know your circumstances or more importantly know your strengths sentence doom and gloom over your life.  If you know what I know and Believe as I Believe than all things are possible to those who BELIEVE.

Take a minute or three to listen and watch as the lovely Carolyn Tilghman formerly of Boston who now resides in Cincinnati shares her story of Love and Marriage after 40.  Carolyn a professional 48 year old African American woman who was a single parent with a daughter graduating from Wellesley found love and marriage while attending a National Brotherhood of Skiers convention.


Saturday, May 7, 2011


I think the title ‘Relationship Reality’ speaks volumes on the reason and purpose of this page. Speak the truth and hopefully your truth will set you free and might help someone else in need.

Dating Coach and Relationship Expert

1 of 4
Ready to live your Amazing Life? As your Personal Life and Dating Coach I work with you to set and achieve life and business goals. Empowerment & Happiness! 
Transform  and Empower Your Sense of Self
1. Image Building
2. Self- Esteem and Empowerment
3. Dating After Divorce
3. Dating Advice -Tools- Practical Applications   
4 Role Playing - Behavior Modeling – Communication
5. Tools and Strategies to transform your personal dating life
6. Seven Value Lessons U Determine UR Own Destiny 
Life Stylist and Coach Sharen King, Model and Public Speaker, Activist and Writer of popular Singles Forum Blog Scared Single ...but not Afraid, stages seminars, group and individual classes in the art of attracting positive relationships along with self improvement.  
***** Whether it is marriage, companionship, friendship of shared mutual interest call or e-mail to allow me to assist you.******

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Internet Dating --- Are You Alone But Not Lonely

Like so many of us living in the world of convenience and technology the allure of online dating is a constant. It is impossible not to  be enundated with the deluge of online dating ads and options that surround us daily.
Today I was talking to a guy who recently became a member of the free online dating site   an interesting site but I will leave that for a different time. 

When I asked him what was his reason for choosing this particular site and why would he find it a necessity to be a member.  Like so many today the allure of online dating is a constant image in our daily lives It is impossible not to see be enundated with the deluge of online dating ads and options. To of course this does not mean you have to indulge.
When driving the streets are lined with billboards, bus stops signs, on the back and sides of buses, on the radio and throughout the night on local and national televisions. 
There is a smorgasbord of online dating sites to fit every need real and imagined.  They range from Singles that are Christian, Parents, Divorced and unfortunately Marrieds and everything in between.. Yes including the ever popular sites that offer clandestine and willing hook-ups of consenting married adults are flourishing. One such site is Ashley Madison.  
Now my thought is with all the different site too many to list:
Why Are There So Many Single People?
So when I asked this handsome, educated, professional man that works in an industry of non-stop travel and interactions his answer is one that I hear more often than not, “ I am alone but not Lonely. To be honest more curious than anything else.”  

Now I will share this is a response I hear often and my thoughts are always the same.
So if you are so inclined the link below is from 

Interesting and oh so true and prevalent to so many people it makes you wonder what is off kilter.  Since God made Man and then Woman to be with man WHAT IN THE HECK IS HAPPENING!
1 Corinthian 13:13
Now these things remain: HOPE, FAITH AND LOVE
But the Greatest of these is LOVE.

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