Life Coach and Dating Coach

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Tuesday, November 27, 2012


                        PERFECT CHRISTMAS GIFT
                           HANUKKAH/KWANZAA
                        

                          


Find Somebody to Love!  This is the ultimate gift you can give to another and more important yourself. If you are seeking the best gift in the universe the simple act of loving unselfishly is without question the ULTIMATE gift.

I promise you your life will never be the same. I realize life is not Rose Colored Glasses

Yes I know it is not that easy but perhaps you are looking out from glasses that are covered in soot, dirt or smudged with heartache and self-doubt.

Find somebody to Love does not have to be taken literally nor romantically.  I could stop at this statement but I am certain there are those that are asking. " what is she writing about?"

Since you ask. Love can be expressed in more ways and time than I have finger strength to type or time to give.  I will attempt to make this as succinct as possible. If you take the time and effort to look beyond your nose you will see your community, city, state, country no in truth the global community is in desperate need of Love.  It may sound trite but it can start with a simple act of kindness or forgiveness.

Take a moment and Find Somebody to Love!

 Take a note from THE VOICE Cody Belew.




                                                            

                                                        



                                                  

    

                                                  



 Are you dreading the Holidays Single?


'The Holidays' are no longer fast approaching they are here and like taxes, they are not going anywhere.  Well not until January 15.  But do not despair February 14th, Valentine Day the holiday that celebrates love with it’s pretty pink and red roses, chocolate candy and declarations of love follows close behind as another reminder of your singledom status.  I write this homage to holidays to acknowledge for many this and not New Years is when they begin to write declarations of ‘No never again.' No never again will I face another holiday alone, without a love to call my own.  Yes, it is now when family and friends are complaining of the 10 extra pounds racing off hand in hand to the local mall burden down with bags and fast food cups securely in hand as a constant slap in your face that you are without that one special person to fight over the remote and to call your own.

Much like the short days of winter and the long cold dark nights for many single men and women the one constant companion they can depend on is the doom and gloom of loneliness, self-doubt, and trepidation as they pass the time Single waiting for Santa.  I know many protest that they are not lonely and looking. While this in itself is true yet you would literally have to be on Prozac or Valium not to feel the tug of longing for a friend, companion a love to celebrate the season of faith (whatever yours may be), family and festivities.

Yes I know that many are happy and feeling blessed with their single status. For those who do great
and I am thrilled for you. Yet I would be remiss not to acknowledge both sides of the coin.

COIN OF LOVE
                                                        

What is a guy or girl to do to bring about a change?  Well, nearly the exact opposite of what you did through the year!  No, I am not kidding.  First, be honest with yourself and acknowledge your real and serious intent for your level of commitment to alter or change your status.  Many social media sites designate different status such as:
  1. Activity partner
  2. Serious long term/marriage
  3. Or the dreaded NSA, which very may be how you arrived in the same space as last year and for some the year before and the year before that. 


I am a proponent of living single well and in balance seeking your own sense of joy through participation of your faith, social and philanthropic activities that enhance your life and others.  However come on I am also a Dating and Relationship Coach.  Noah filled The Ark  two by two not one by one for a reason. 

DON'T BE A GRINCH and spend your holidays bored, alone and sad. If you do nothing else try one of these loving selfish acts of kindness.  Yes I said selfish because come on be truthful. Is not a self imposed depression a selfish act?  You have everything to live and be hopeful for. As long as you are above ground breathing and in your right mind there is always a chance for Love!  Just in case no-one has told you lately, I love and appreciate you.

  1. Adopt a family 
  2. Orphanage take time to visit and play Santa
  3. Call a local church synagogues, temples get involved
  4. Visit a Nursing home or Hospice adopt a grandparent
  5. Buy blankets for a local shelter don't just serve food on the holidays 
  6. Single parents always need help take the kid(s) to a holiday festival event or buy the parent a gift
  7. Visit (with a friend) a park or shelter or food pantry and take hot coffee, drinks cocoa while participants wait in line for services.
          

This being the case perhaps it is time you reached out to seek professional assistance. 
Contact me now towards changing your life.  sk@scaredingle.com     

Remember there no more precious gift than Love and Time!  Take the Time to Love unselfishly on and for someone else and this is the Love you will receive. 





Sunday, November 25, 2012



 TEXT MESSAGING a Dating 'NO or YES?'

                           DATING TIPS FOR THE UNINFORMED

Question: is it okay to use texting when asking a person out on date?  
Answer:  Really are you an idiot or you play one on a now defunct Soap Opera?

Recently I had the distinct displeasure of having a man (who was a potential suitor but no more) ask me out on a date via text. Some of you may be thinking nothing wrong with that and others of you may feel as I do déclassé to the tenth degree. Yes I know this is 2012 and 2013 is fast approaching.  Technology is progressing at the speed of light but do we have to give up manners and common courtesy to refer to ourselves as contemporary and have a Friday night date?  Me personally I would prefer to stay home and watch a marathon of the latest horror show Bridezillas a feature on WE.tv. http://www.wetv.com/shows/bridezillas

Come on now really Darn near anything would be preferable than to have a man or in the case of you men a woman not value blah blah I refuse to sugarcoat the fact that it is R-U-D-E rude to ask you for the pleasure of your company via text. Just short of a booty call to put it not so tactfully.  It is lazy and presumptuous to utilize texting as a primary mode to share and exchange thoughts with another person. Thirdly but no less important is the fact it is a cowardly passive aggressive act.  In the scheme of things Text Messaging as a form of communication within a (any) relationship is nothing less than a recipe for sabotage leading to disaster.  Disaster on a level of 4.5 on the righter scale leading to, to hurt feelings, misunderstanding, anger and cursing, leading to a break-up. 

Is this a dating tip or a dating phenomenon? Is this something I really need to write about?  Allow me to answer my own query.  Yes unequivocally and a resounding yes. If you are new to my writings let me share a simple but important fact.  I write about relevant subjects that I as a single personally experience and you share with me on my radio show, during my speaking engagements and via e-mail.  This is the element that separates me from the also ran’s such as the therapist and experts in sociologist such as Dr. Andrew Cherlin. I am not disputing the relevancy of studies and research. However there is no substitute for real life experiences.

A soliloquy of thought is meant to be performed on a stage for a play and not to be read on your I-phone or any other Smartphone. Come on folks if you doubt me refer to the definition of texting: is the act of typing and sending a brief, electronic message between two or more mobile phones or fixed portable devices over a phone network. Nowhere does this say solve the woes and transgressions of your dysfunctional relationship and this include family, friends and co-workers. 

So the next time you want to send a text message which includes anything other than a perfunctory message of,” I am 15 minutes late or can’t talk now in a meeting. OK I can bow to sentiment and include, "I love you or I miss you see you soon." But anything other than a message that can fit on the side of quarter is best left for utilizing your verbal communication skills.  Keeping this as of measure for common sense and good manners before you speak in anger or simply decide to let the flood gates open via text.  Make sure you breathe rethink and remember the simple line ‘Just leave it alone.’  

Need I remind you that any and everything that utilizes technology and electronics remains in this universe forever and can be used against you in a court lo law? If you doubt me just ask Judge Judy.
                                                         
Any questions just remember you can always e-mail me or if you are in need of a Dating  Coach or a Relationship Coach for those already dating.  sk@scaredsingle.com  Sharen Sierra