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Monday, February 11, 2013

        Top Ten Reasons For Staying Single

More times than I can count I have heard a question repeatedly hurled at single men and women like a pitcher throwing a curve ball on the inside corner to a batter who is crowding home plate. Of course those that are hurling the question are the arch nemesis. The dreaded enemy, married people who assume that every single person secretly desires to be married.  Of course this is not true however to this particular classification of 'marrieds' this is an impossible possibility. The question is of course, “ when are you going to settle down and get MARRIED?” When I hear this question being thrown at me or anyone else I always cringe.

My first thought is what exactly is settling down.  Is it surrendering to the inevitable droll and tedious acceptance of being commitment to one person until death do thee part?  Or is marriage celebrating the joy of a union between two people that is reported to be God’s first miracle?  If it truly the second choice could someone please tell me why is it considered settling?  When I checked the Webster encyclopedia not one of the definitions have a positive or encouraging meaning.

1. to place so as to stay or    2. to make quiet or orderly

Now correct me if I am wrong but does this read like a miracle that Jesus performed?

John 2:1
On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus' mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding.

I am not certain but what I do know is that every time I hear the question, without fail I want to look for the nearest exit wether it is a window or door and run like Forest Gump. Better yet maybe I should buy a mule with work boots and allow him to do what comes naturally. Kick some sense and manners into married folk that think they have discovered the Holy Grail.  Does anyone really think the answer to the question “Why are you single, could possibly be a one dimensional response?

So I decided to take a moment and list the Top Ten Reasons that Men and Women choose to live their life as a Single Person.  First as I like to remind everyone Single is a Status not a Disease

1) Plain and Simple he/she enjoys the Single life maybe a little narcissistic and then again maybe not.
2) He or she is patiently waiting for the right person understanding how expensive a divorce can be.
3) Their time is their own and quite frankly he/she has no desire to be accountable to partner. 
4) He or She does not want to share their personal space.
5) He or She has chosen a career over love.
6) He or She has either no desire or inability to remain monogamous. 
7) He or She has been hurt in the past and unwilling to take a chance on trusting a partner.
8) He or she is unable to find a person that they want to have a single date with so how could a long-term relationship be a possibility.
9) He or she has familial responsibilities and commitments.
10) He or She has financial concerns that take precedence of an interpersonal relationship.

There is no one answer and perhaps instead of being impertinent we should all attempt to contribute to everyone’s happiness.  Just a thought!  Or maybe it is 'Complicated' just ask crooner and husband to the beautiful Paula Patton, Robin Thicke. 

John 2:1
On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus' mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding.


 If we were to select a first miracle for Jesus to perform, no doubt we would pick something grand such as Jesus on the Mount of Transfiguration or, as Peter suggested, have Christ call down lightning from heaven. Maybe we would have Jesus perform a healing or raise someone from the dead, or have him feed the 5000. But God chose to use a social gathering for Christ’s first miracle. An ordinary couple had an unimportant need. The miracle was done secretly; so few people even knew it had occurred. This is not what we would have chosen for Christ’s first miracle, but it’s what God chose for the first miracle. And it reveals to us God’s love and compassion for us, even for our unimportant needs.

So let us let God take care of the question and the answer. Or as Jamie Foxx in the movie Ray stated "Do What It Do."  Either way if everyone was married what would happen to the divorce lawyers?  


Saturday, February 2, 2013

                   CAREER vs LOVE

Is failure an option in your career?  For most of us I would be willing to venture a guess that the answer would be no.  We strive daily to not just maintain but excel at our careers sometimes no matter how high the cost. 

We sacrifice ourselves in a multitude of ways too many in fact for me to name. However I will take a minute to name just one factor that has ties unequivocally to nearly all of our sacrifices. That factor would be Time
It is said that 'Time waits for no one' and while that is true it is also true that Time is the only thing that we can never get back.  In our efforts to be the best at making more money, garnering more alphabets in front and behind our names we often lose track of Time.  We spend less time with our families. We often neglect our emotional, mental and physical self. We spend more time working to achieve career success than living a balanced life of joy. In the end when we take our last breath I do not think it will be to say, “I wish I had spent more time working.”

As we approach Valentine’s Day the day designated to celebrate Love I wonder maybe we should spend more time thinking about not just celebrating Love but succeeding at Love. Take a minute and think about it. If you put the same energy, focus, and yes Time into learning to give and receive healthy nurturing Love, I would be willing to bet that as you took your last breath it would be with a smile. 

After all in case you have not heard Love Is The Answer and Jesus is Love.  Wow two for the price of one and all it takes is Time.